Things with my daughter have gotten worse.
MUCH worse.
We are barely speaking. When we do, it's an argument, and it gets us nowhere. I have not seen her in over a week and I miss her.
She is a good kid, but is dating a boy (yes, he really is a boy) that is no good for her. He is nice enough, don't get me wrong, but he is a bum. He works, but barely. His job does not afford him enough money to make it on his own, so he lives with his mom. He does, however have a way cool car. See, he doesn't make enough for rent and a car, so he has a car. My daughter is living with him. With them. The boyfriend and the mom.
The mom lets the kids leach off of her because she is lonely. She is not doing these kids any favours by babying them. The Boy will never leave his mothers home, there is no reason to. He will never have a good job, because he is a high school drop out that is happy to work at a call center for the rest of his life.
My daughter, on the other hand, is already a college grad that has gone back for yet more schooling. She will have her choice of two careers when she is done in October.
My daughter has gone from an independent young woman to a girl that relies completely on her boyfriend. The mother is so involved in all areas of the kids lives...My daughter still has her bills come here because she knows that Mommy Dearest will open them if they go there.
I am a survivor of abuse. I know that not all men are abusive. I am on my third long term relationship and although he is not perfect, we are ok.
I do however, recognize the signs. I can see when someone is being controlling and manipulative. We (her sisters, brother, father and I ) can all see it, but she can't.
I don't know what to do.
I want to let her live her own life, but this whole thing spells nothing but trouble and it scares the hell out of me.
I can't sit back and watch these people run my daughter down, yet if I say something, then
I am
the one controlling her life.
I just want my daughter back. The
real daughter that I know, not the one that spews the catch phrases that boyfriend's mom have drilled into her head.
I just feel so hopeless.